I managed to get myself worked up into a funk at work this afternoon. I do this about every month or every other month. It's rather annoying and totally goes against my New Years "Attitude Adjustment." When these "funks" happen it's usually because of something I'm not confident about. In this case it's school/work. I hate that I'm still in school at 24 years of age and I hate that I don't know where I may end up as far a job goes. I'm not planning on leaving my job anytime soon but some day I will have to leave.
I worry that I will end up in a job that most "adults" do where they just settle. They hate their job and complain about it but do nothing. I don't want to settle. I want my future job to be something "no one" else could do. I want it to be a job where I go in happy and leave happy. I want to make this world a better place. I want others to see beauty in even the "ugly" parts of this world. I want to continue to see beauty in every situation.*
I realize I am the only one who can get myself in and out of these funks. If I allow myself to get depressed about these things I am becoming the adult I fear. A settler. So I went to the bathroom and danced! I danced because I can! I danced because I am going to school and I do have a job! I danced because you can't be sad when you dance. Have you ever seen a sad person dance? I danced because I shouldn't worry about my future. (Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans for you declares the Lord.") I am doing exactly what Pastor Denny preached about us NOT doing-WORRYING. My worrying shows that I don't trust. My dancing worked. I came out of the bathroom feeling happy and ready to finish the day strong. (I also left feeling dizzy!)
This long (and possibly boring) journal entry is to encourage all of the "adults" out there who hate their jobs to do something about it! and to dance in the bathroom...because you can (and it works)!
*I believe there are things are a truly ugly and will never be beautiful. Murder, rape, child abuse/neglect, abortion, and cancer, just to name a few, are incredibly ugly things. Those will never be beautiful in my eyes. However, I do believe that the people who those things have affected can help others who are going through it. I lost my grandma to a long and painful death due to cancer, I can remember the beauty about her. I can help others who may be going through the same thing out.
Indeed. Dancing is a great therapy when one feels down, frustrated or simply trapped. Hard to accept, but there are many "ugly" things in life that one alone cannot possible change. Just keep on dancing and be glad for the beautiful things you already have. There are many more to come, I'm sure of that!
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